That didn't go as bad as I thought...

I dread going to church every Sunday now.

I'm always tempted to "accidentally" oversleep since I'm usually the first one up in the mornings. Well, besides the kids, who I doubt slepp more than five or six hours a night...

For the past few weeks I've been giving one word answers to questions about how I'm feeling, etc. I knew that most of them would be in a really good mood today because this was the weekend of the womens retreat, and I was right.

Now let me say that they aren't all bad, but as my sister says I always attract the weirdos and it seems like the only ones in that particular place who want to talk to me are people who want to argue with me or have some kind of problem with something else I've done.

Today I got into a conversation with one of the best people there, she is so smart and practical and nice and I love being around her. She was asking me what i needed for the baby, which I told her I don't know because I don't, but it made me let my guard down, then the woman who argues with me came over and asked me all kinds of stuff and with every answer I gave her I was wincing because with that group you never know when something will be used against you.

I don't really know what to do in those situations. I'm afraid that they want to give me a baby shower and I don't know what I will do if thats the case. My plan was to be as vague as possible with them and when the baby came I would be home free, but after today I'm beating myself up because I was more open with them and I only see disaster.

I've always found it insulting when people, anyone at all, asks me how I expect to pay for a baby because we don't make a lot of money. I just don't think its anyone's business. I'm not even sure "how" I am going to pay for it but just like all the other bills and other stuff that comes up we will find a way. I don't care how much money anyone makes at this point in pregnancy all it takes is a natural disaster, job loss, fire, car accident, you name it, and they are stuck not knowing how they are going to pay for a baby either.

So I said all of that to say we have been asked that question by these people before so I don't want to accept any gifts or anything from them.

But this Sunday there was no arguing or "you should just do this" ing so I call it a good Sunday.

On a positive note, my mid week Bible study start this past week. Since my husband started seminary in the middle of the Bible study year last year, I was in a group that had already spent one semester together so they were all friends and I was the new girl, even though they were all very nice girls. I was glad to be able to go on the first night this year and see all the new people, some of whom were in their first semester and others who were newlyweds but their husbands were in their second or third year of school.

I'm excited for it all to get started so I can make friends there with women who are in the same situation as me, husband in school and far away from family. It will be so nice to be around someone who understands...