I went to the doctor at 8:00 this morning. It was so convienent because I was able to go right after dropping Mycah off and I had a few minutes to myself before going in.
I don't want to be mean but I'm really glad that doctor is not delivering my baby. He seems kind of absent minded. Last time, I had my afp blood work done and almost a month ago I had a pap... and he wanted me to do both of them today. He didn't believe that I had either one done when I tried to tell him and I was not looking forward to having it all repeated.
Not sure if I mentioned but the nurse didn't fill out my paper work properly, or at all, so the afp people were calling and calling... so she had to call them today after they had been trying to get in touch for two weeks and give them my info. She also never called to get my pap results and any woman can tell you having to have it done once is enough!
I had to have blood work done, just like every other time I've been there. My veins are starting to not like that place lol. For some reason blood work hurts more when I'm pregnant, and today was no different. At one point, i think she shoved the needle in too far because it felt like she hit a nerve (seriously, all the way from my elbow to my shoulder!) and I looked and there was no blood pumping into the vial, she saw it too and backed out the needle but that didn't make it feel better. I'm left handed but I usually drive with my right. Not today! My arm was killing me so I just let it go limp beside my seat and it eventually felt better.
The good news, I'm holding my weight steady, so far no gain!!! It would be a dream come true to keep my current weight, then after the baby comes, be a little skinnier than before. And I say a little because I won't be able to buy new clothes for a while after...but continuing weight loss would be great.
Also, the baby is measuring right where it's supposed to and the heartbeat was strong. This time, when the doctor was checking the heart it kept changing and it brought back memories of my three older ones. When it sounds like a horse galloping, its coming from the back of the baby, is what my old nurse told me. Well, this time it was changing from the horse to just being loud to another sound I can't really explain. So my little one was active this time.
...................................
On another note, I've decided, for myself, to get more involved in seminary things. I no longer have the desire to open myself up to the women in my current church, but I don't think it would be good for me to just give up the whole faith since my husband is going to be a leader in it... I thought and thought, and this is what I came up with:
The women at sem wives are my age. They are away from home, just like me, their husbands are in school, like me. If they do have kids they are small, and the moms have to work.
At my church, they are older, the kids are older, therefore I get a lot of unsolicited advice. Which I hate. If you ever comment please do not give me advice on anything lol. No one at that church is interested in being my friend. And i don't mean email every once in a while or go to lunch where I get a lot of what I mentioned above... I mean a real friend, someone who i can talk to without being bashed or judged. I don't care if we talk once a month or every day, I just want someone to hang out with on a casual basis, not who thinks everything has to be a learning experience for me.
So, thats my decision. We are here for seminary, we have a church back home to get involved in if we move back there, so thats what my focus will be.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
can't wait until January!!!
Those of you who keep up probably think I never have anything nice to say! It's not that exactly, its just that I have a lot of stress lately and no one to talk to about it. I feel like I can be a lot more honest with just a blank computer screen than in a conversation.
So, after all of that... I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL I HAVE MY BABY!!!!!
I have been feeling it move so much over the past week. Just so its documented, I first started feeling little flutters at 17 weeks. I LOVE this point because no one can feel it but me. It makes the pregnancy seem so much more real and makes me sooo excited to meet my little boy or girl!!!
I got my 18 week email update today and it said my baby is the size of a big pickle, to which I thought mmmm... pickles... and then I realized how much the little one has grown in just a few months.
My dreams have gotten all wacky, too. I had one a few nights ago about the baby kicking and it would push its feet out so far that you could see the toes and everything through my skin. lol
The privacy will be nice this time. No baby shower, no relatives at the hospital... I will miss my mom like crazy because she is always such a help but I keep picturing myself rocking my newborn with no one else around and not expecting anyone and it just sounds so peaceful.
I want my hubby to take fewer classes in the spring. He is concerned because he thinks its because I will need all this help and it will be on him but the truth is I just want him there more. Just for me... I think I'll be fine with four, can't be too much harder than three, right?
So, after all of that... I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL I HAVE MY BABY!!!!!
I have been feeling it move so much over the past week. Just so its documented, I first started feeling little flutters at 17 weeks. I LOVE this point because no one can feel it but me. It makes the pregnancy seem so much more real and makes me sooo excited to meet my little boy or girl!!!
I got my 18 week email update today and it said my baby is the size of a big pickle, to which I thought mmmm... pickles... and then I realized how much the little one has grown in just a few months.
My dreams have gotten all wacky, too. I had one a few nights ago about the baby kicking and it would push its feet out so far that you could see the toes and everything through my skin. lol
The privacy will be nice this time. No baby shower, no relatives at the hospital... I will miss my mom like crazy because she is always such a help but I keep picturing myself rocking my newborn with no one else around and not expecting anyone and it just sounds so peaceful.
I want my hubby to take fewer classes in the spring. He is concerned because he thinks its because I will need all this help and it will be on him but the truth is I just want him there more. Just for me... I think I'll be fine with four, can't be too much harder than three, right?
Monday, August 11, 2008
countdown to back to school...and other things.
Thursday is the big day!! I Am going to cry like a baby when my five year old starts kindergarten!! it was different with my first one, she is so much more independent. Sage is the emotional one, the one who will argue her point without backing down...all good things for an adult, one who is trying to get ahead in the world. I hope she never loses it but I do hope she suppresses it when its time to listen and learn.
I have to go to the doctor before she goes to school. I hope its quick because 1) I wanted the morning to be about her and 2) I have gone to the doctor every Thursday since I got back from vacation, and I'm sick of it.
I'm a little over 15 weeks pregnant at this point. I am so excited about my baby. Words cannot even begin to describe it!! Our neighbors gave us a crib, which we spent half an hour trying to get into our room last night. We ended up having to take it most of the way apart to do so. I like our apartment layout but it is not ideal for moving furniture.
The crib is filled right now with baby toys and blankets, but I can't wait to buy either blue or pink clothes to store there!! It will almost be a shame to have a boy because I just gave away all my boy clothes to my sister, who has given most of them away to other people. She did it not having any idea I was expecting, but to have to start from scratch almost feels like a waste. Almost. I love to shop so in another way it gives me an excuse... ;)
I would love to have another girl just because my boy is so difficult. I thought he was getting easier but it turns out we just hadn't been anywhere in a while. We splurged a little and went out to eat yesterday after church, and he decided (luckily towards the end) that his feet were getting sweaty so he needed to take his shoes off and bring them around the table to me. I have this weird thing in restaurants about shoes. I think its gross to walk around barefoot in one and if you can walk, no matter what age, you should wear shoes in a place where strangers eat. He cried when I told him to put them back on and fought with his sister when I said for her to do it. I all of the sudden felt very sandwiched and claustrophobic between my husband and my oldest, who had moved to the seat next to me so she could have more room, so I got him out of there before I freaked due to the whole situation.
I have been talking to my old friend from Florida a lot lately. She is amazing. I only have about 4 friends, true friends, who I love dearly. I consider a friend someone who listens to me, who wants to hang out every now and then, who I can laugh with or be stupid around and not even think twice about being judged.
Lately, though, I've come across a different breed. One who would say they are friends with me but have no clue as to the definition of the word.
I understand we are in certain situations to be trained, so to speak...to learn, would be a better word... what i don't get (or like, or respect) is the people who think since they are around me, older than me, or whatever, that they know better than me in my situation and try to get me to do things their way.
I think it bothers me so much because I am totally that way. I would love to influence a lot of people to what I think is right, whether it be in religion, politics, abortion, child raising, driving, marriage...whatever. I have certain ways of doing things that I almost swear by, and sometimes when people tell me how they do things it drives me bonkers because, I'm a woman, my way is the right way. Luckily for everyone within 10 miles, I've learned to suppress my feelings. I'll only offer advice if its asked of me, because I simply hate it when people give me unsolicited advice.
Since this group has found out I'm going to have another baby, its practically flying out of the woodwork, it seems. I opened up to one person one day. I can be pretty negative but I didn't say anything bad about how hard its going to be or that I'm worried about anything...and I get a card saying they know how hard its going to be for me, "but God is still in control"
Just for review, and tmi, but sorry... I had a miscarriage in Feb/March...I had a cycle in April...I saw my husband one night a week during that time...and in May I got a positive pregnancy test. I know that God has a plan, i know that God is in control. It doesn't happen that fast for most people.
And, to be honest, I have no rememberance whatsoever about how much work a newborn is. When I had my kids, I was a stay at home mom with my mom within 15 minutes. This time, I'll have a few weeks off and have to get right back into it. I have no clue what I'm in for, but I'm looking forward to finding out. For myself.
Anyway...sorry for the vent. That one has been building up for a long time.
On a much brighter, better note, my husband has been really great these past few weeks. When I wanted hamburgers, he went out right after getting home from work to get me all the fixings, when I wanted pizza, we went grocery shopping to get some. He has done laundry, he has done dishes, cleaned any number of random things, and been such a huge help to me with the kids. I'm so glad to have him around. Its going to be sad when he goes back to school full time in a few weeks.
I have to go to the doctor before she goes to school. I hope its quick because 1) I wanted the morning to be about her and 2) I have gone to the doctor every Thursday since I got back from vacation, and I'm sick of it.
I'm a little over 15 weeks pregnant at this point. I am so excited about my baby. Words cannot even begin to describe it!! Our neighbors gave us a crib, which we spent half an hour trying to get into our room last night. We ended up having to take it most of the way apart to do so. I like our apartment layout but it is not ideal for moving furniture.
The crib is filled right now with baby toys and blankets, but I can't wait to buy either blue or pink clothes to store there!! It will almost be a shame to have a boy because I just gave away all my boy clothes to my sister, who has given most of them away to other people. She did it not having any idea I was expecting, but to have to start from scratch almost feels like a waste. Almost. I love to shop so in another way it gives me an excuse... ;)
I would love to have another girl just because my boy is so difficult. I thought he was getting easier but it turns out we just hadn't been anywhere in a while. We splurged a little and went out to eat yesterday after church, and he decided (luckily towards the end) that his feet were getting sweaty so he needed to take his shoes off and bring them around the table to me. I have this weird thing in restaurants about shoes. I think its gross to walk around barefoot in one and if you can walk, no matter what age, you should wear shoes in a place where strangers eat. He cried when I told him to put them back on and fought with his sister when I said for her to do it. I all of the sudden felt very sandwiched and claustrophobic between my husband and my oldest, who had moved to the seat next to me so she could have more room, so I got him out of there before I freaked due to the whole situation.
I have been talking to my old friend from Florida a lot lately. She is amazing. I only have about 4 friends, true friends, who I love dearly. I consider a friend someone who listens to me, who wants to hang out every now and then, who I can laugh with or be stupid around and not even think twice about being judged.
Lately, though, I've come across a different breed. One who would say they are friends with me but have no clue as to the definition of the word.
I understand we are in certain situations to be trained, so to speak...to learn, would be a better word... what i don't get (or like, or respect) is the people who think since they are around me, older than me, or whatever, that they know better than me in my situation and try to get me to do things their way.
I think it bothers me so much because I am totally that way. I would love to influence a lot of people to what I think is right, whether it be in religion, politics, abortion, child raising, driving, marriage...whatever. I have certain ways of doing things that I almost swear by, and sometimes when people tell me how they do things it drives me bonkers because, I'm a woman, my way is the right way. Luckily for everyone within 10 miles, I've learned to suppress my feelings. I'll only offer advice if its asked of me, because I simply hate it when people give me unsolicited advice.
Since this group has found out I'm going to have another baby, its practically flying out of the woodwork, it seems. I opened up to one person one day. I can be pretty negative but I didn't say anything bad about how hard its going to be or that I'm worried about anything...and I get a card saying they know how hard its going to be for me, "but God is still in control"
Just for review, and tmi, but sorry... I had a miscarriage in Feb/March...I had a cycle in April...I saw my husband one night a week during that time...and in May I got a positive pregnancy test. I know that God has a plan, i know that God is in control. It doesn't happen that fast for most people.
And, to be honest, I have no rememberance whatsoever about how much work a newborn is. When I had my kids, I was a stay at home mom with my mom within 15 minutes. This time, I'll have a few weeks off and have to get right back into it. I have no clue what I'm in for, but I'm looking forward to finding out. For myself.
Anyway...sorry for the vent. That one has been building up for a long time.
On a much brighter, better note, my husband has been really great these past few weeks. When I wanted hamburgers, he went out right after getting home from work to get me all the fixings, when I wanted pizza, we went grocery shopping to get some. He has done laundry, he has done dishes, cleaned any number of random things, and been such a huge help to me with the kids. I'm so glad to have him around. Its going to be sad when he goes back to school full time in a few weeks.
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