cutting the strings

Tomorrow I am going to church alone. I get to go to the new place to hear their pastor speak. I cannot describe how good it feels to be free of the old one. Every time I think of having to go back there I feel the anger coming on.

So, anyway. My mom is going to kill me. She sent me some stuff from the motherhood maternity store and I exchanged it. She always thinks I need a night gown and I hate them. I cannot sleep with that thing wrapped around me, so I took it back and got some stuff I need.

I don't mean to be ungrateful, but I always have to have a system and truthfully, I don't want any gifts because I have a list in my head of things I need and things I don't need or want and I'm just so overwhelmed with it all I don't have room up there for other things.

I know, I'm selfish and rude. :(

Today I shoved a fork up my thumbnail and it still hurts like crazy. I was so annoyed because I was trying to unload the dishwasher and I was so distracted by the kids that I wasn't paying attention and of course they didn't care that I was hurt they just followed me into the bathroom asking for more food and it just drove me crazy. I'm going to go insane when the girls are out of school for two weeks!!

So all we have left is Christmas, then I only have two weeks of work then two weeks before my baby girl is here. I was awake for a little bit last night and she was moving all around so I was rubbing my belly. I think I can feel her elbows and knees sometimes, theres just a little corner that separates into two parts inside me and sometimes she will be still when I'm rubbing where she is and it feels like we're already bonding.

I'm getting really excited for her to come, almost moreso than for Christmas.

Tonight I have been cooking dinner for an hour, and I'm ready to be done!! I made lemon chicken and corn, with baked apples and sponge cake for dessert.

I used to make the cake all the time when we were first married, and I loved it. I'm excited for it to be done tonight.

Besides that, I washed 5 loads of clothes so we have stuff to wear for the cold week ahead. I'm excited for the colder weather, finally!!