just don't get it.

I've decided to put my wall up, firmly back in its place.

I'm a pretty sensitive person. There's not a lot that doesn't tick me off majorly.

I used to be able to avoid people that I didn't get along with but now I'm in a position where I can't.

I think the biggest reason that I'm scared to death of being a pastor's wife is that very reason.

Today at church for instance, I took two of my kids to class at church and this woman says to me: "So, how many months pregnant are you?" I was really not in the mood because #1, I don't look pregnant at all and 2, this has been a weekend from hell. So I said, rather loudly and plainly, "I'm not pregnant, i had a miscarriage." She says, "Oh, you have enough kids anyway" and just kind of waves her hand at me like I missed a sale at the mall. I was not able to speak in church language at that time so I just continued signing in my children and I guess she sensed that something was wrong because she asked when it happened and stuff but she never said the usual sorry to hear that or anything.

I've just gotten to where I can't handle it. People try to remind me of the ones who do care about us and stuff, but thats not my concern. There are plenty of people who are kind, considerate, fun. But its the ones who have no sort of humanity or something that I choose to avoid.

And, after today, will avoid.

I've stopped caring. Why should I care when I try to open up by sharing news of a new baby on the way and all the person can say is "well, you should have waited three years." or "we know you want to spend time with your family but we want to see you too" when I made it clear before hand that the two weeks of the year that I spend in MY hometown will be with my family.

Anyway, I'm finished. Done. I have too many things on my plate to make room for people who want to matter more than they ever will.