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Karli wears me out more than Target ever did. I'm a lot more tired now than after any night of stocking shelves.

Shaun and I have both noticed that she wants to be held a lot more now. Of course we don't deny her but after her taking an hour long nap on you then a 30 minute bottle, you start thinking of other things that need to be done. I think its a short phase, much like her babyhood will be. Soon she will be wandering around, getting into stuff, with no time for a nap or snuggles.

The big kids are pretty much the same. I've started thinking of them as a unit now. The big kids, soon to be the school kids. We got outside today for a while to play and I wondered how much of this place they will remember when they are grown. I remember my old house, and I know we played outside there but I don't remember any specifics, except the weird fact that my sister and I would eat the new little leaves off one of the trees.

So here we are five weeks later. I feel like Karli has always been here. Every memory includes her, or a thought of her. This time last year I thought I was pregnant with someone else. I had started the losing process having no idea what was happening. I thought I would be depressed every year on this day because of what might have been, little did I know two months later I'd see that double line again and one year later be looking at my tiny girl sleeping on the couch. It's amazing.