more updates

Karli wears me out more than Target ever did. I'm a lot more tired now than after any night of stocking shelves.

Shaun and I have both noticed that she wants to be held a lot more now. Of course we don't deny her but after her taking an hour long nap on you then a 30 minute bottle, you start thinking of other things that need to be done. I think its a short phase, much like her babyhood will be. Soon she will be wandering around, getting into stuff, with no time for a nap or snuggles.

The big kids are pretty much the same. I've started thinking of them as a unit now. The big kids, soon to be the school kids. We got outside today for a while to play and I wondered how much of this place they will remember when they are grown. I remember my old house, and I know we played outside there but I don't remember any specifics, except the weird fact that my sister and I would eat the new little leaves off one of the trees.

So here we are five weeks later. I feel like Karli has always been here. Every memory includes her, or a thought of her. This time last year I thought I was pregnant with someone else. I had started the losing process having no idea what was happening. I thought I would be depressed every year on this day because of what might have been, little did I know two months later I'd see that double line again and one year later be looking at my tiny girl sleeping on the couch. It's amazing.

The family update

I have the family cold. It all started with Jake the week after I had Karli. We blame him for spreading it to the rest of us :)

Besides the annoyance of a runny nose and the occasional cough, I don't feel too bad. Just hoping the baby doesn't get it.

Speaking of the baby... we have this great arrangement now where she sleeps in her chair beside the bed. I think we both sleep better this way. She is more alert this week. She has periods of the day where she is awake and she looks around. She moves her legs a lot more. She likes to lay on a blanket on the floor and look outside.

Sage's birthday was Saturday. We went to Sams to celebrate. No, really, we are going to take them to Chuck E cheese. Not quite the elaborate party she wanted, but this will have to do. I am also going to take her shopping sometime this week to get her gift.

Mycah and jake are doing fine. Driving me crazy as usual.

I go through days where i miss working. I think when I go back I'll miss being home, though. I feel like this is where I belong and had i not made some good relationships with the people at Target, I wouldn't miss it at all. I'm hoping that I only have to work 4 days a week when I do return, and that I can figure out a time to sleep on the days between nights of work. Thats going to be my challenge.

concerning consistency...

We're about to get some around here.

I'm so tired of being the only one who cleans and also the one who gets blamed for everything. I'm not sure if its because of the baby that makes me think my kids are capable of a lot more than what they do but I'm ready for them to start reaching their potential.

Sage reminds me of myself, which is a little scary because that could possibly mean I act a lot like my mom. Well, thats only bad in certain ways. My mom always acted like she knew what was best for us in all circumstances, so that made me rely on her and when she failed I got mad because she wouldn't let me just do it myself.

That being said, I know I'm not like that. Sage still blames me when things go wrong for her though and it makes me mad. Like today I gave her some change for her pennies campaign at school, and she got mad because I gave her too many dimes. I told her no more change from me then. Thats just one example of many I could share.

Then there's Jake. He's a new breed of child. Sometimes I have to ask him nicely to pick up all his toys and sometimes, like today, I have to be mean to see any results. His backtalking is out of control and will need to be fixed before kindergarten.

Mycah is always out of it and wastes food like no end. I need ot fix that too.

I blame myself for all of this. When I worked overnight I was always half asleep and didn't care about a lot of it. Now that I get decent sleep and have the energy to clean I don't want to be the only one to do so... along with the other problems.

Today is Karli's first physical. Hopefully she doesn't need shots. I think she gets them starting at two months. I hope Jake behaves himself and I get out of there in time to get the girls out of school.

13 days old

Karli is doing really well. We had a problem with her not gaining weight and the doctor suggested if it didn't get any better I might need to use formula, so I went ahead and made that decision for myself. I went to Target and got her a cute little bottle and some similac and it was so nice to see her so content after eating. Shaun even fed her at her 11pm feeding for me.

When I was in the hospital the car broke down and then the van decided to have its power steering go out. We got the car back which means we only have a five seater vehicle for us. Translate that to be today, like Tuesday, I have to take Mycah, Shaun and Sage to school and pick everyone back up. On the pick up part, Jake and I have to be dropped off at home while Shaun picks the girls up. Its rather annoying.

I went to the doctor yesterday and I lost 16 pounds. I was hoping for something outrageous like 30, but 16 will do.

I got a card from the very people that made my life so miserable all those months at our old church. I decided not to send a thank you card, because then they will think I want to still communicate with them.

Jake likes this website called starfall.com. I was doubtful about him learning anything until yesterday when he picked out the number 9 on a box. So now he knows 2 numbers, 9 and 5. Hopefully the rest will follow before kindergarten next year.

My mom's visit was really nice. I forget some things my parents do and when I see it again its oddly familiar. Just little things, like the way they turn the ice tray over to get the ice out. I always dig it out by the corner. They also put their glasses to dry on a towel, and use paper plates so instead of loading the dishwasher my mom had to wash the glasses every night. They both also drive pretty exclusively in the right hand lanes. I always go right for the third because its the least torn up.

So, not a lot going on. Tomorrow will be the first day I'm home so thats what I'm looking most forward to. I have a lot of tv to catch up on during the day.