Weekend stuff

We had a really good weekend.

Our little town had a festival at the lake which was a blast.

Having little ones always leads to funny unforgettable moments. We sat at a table under a canopy to eat snow cones and my six year old decided to let her balloon go just like her little brother did after a few seconds of having his. I told her she could do it assuming she would know to go outside of the covering to take it off her wrist, buuuutttt apparently I was wrong. She was even a little disappointed that she didn't get to watch it go all the way into the sky.

We found the balloon before we went to leave in the top of a tree.

On our way out, we stopped at the fire truck that was there and my son just fell in love with it. He had a huge smile on his face and kept going through the line to sit in the drivers seat while the siren went off. He ran everywhere, like he was unable to walk due to the extreme adrenaline rush he was having. It was hilarious to watch. i wish we had our video camera but we did get some still shots.

We spent Sunday afternoon playing video games. I am still awful but I did manage to complete a whole level of Mario all by myself. It was funny to me how I just mentioned to my hubby once that I was in the mood for some gaming and he set up the system that night. I don't know that I would be comfortable playing with anyone else due to my lack of skill, though.

Last week I ordered some clothes from this place I haven't shopped at since before kids. I only picked a few things because I wasn't sure if it would fit and after growing extremely impatient over lack of tracking info I finally got them today and they all totally fit me!! I'm very happy right now because of it.

Tonight is the first night back at work. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to go, but...since I do have to I'm glad its at least somewhere I'm comfortable being. I go through this thing sometimes where I don't like anything out of the ordinary....

just don't get it.

I've decided to put my wall up, firmly back in its place.

I'm a pretty sensitive person. There's not a lot that doesn't tick me off majorly.

I used to be able to avoid people that I didn't get along with but now I'm in a position where I can't.

I think the biggest reason that I'm scared to death of being a pastor's wife is that very reason.

Today at church for instance, I took two of my kids to class at church and this woman says to me: "So, how many months pregnant are you?" I was really not in the mood because #1, I don't look pregnant at all and 2, this has been a weekend from hell. So I said, rather loudly and plainly, "I'm not pregnant, i had a miscarriage." She says, "Oh, you have enough kids anyway" and just kind of waves her hand at me like I missed a sale at the mall. I was not able to speak in church language at that time so I just continued signing in my children and I guess she sensed that something was wrong because she asked when it happened and stuff but she never said the usual sorry to hear that or anything.

I've just gotten to where I can't handle it. People try to remind me of the ones who do care about us and stuff, but thats not my concern. There are plenty of people who are kind, considerate, fun. But its the ones who have no sort of humanity or something that I choose to avoid.

And, after today, will avoid.

I've stopped caring. Why should I care when I try to open up by sharing news of a new baby on the way and all the person can say is "well, you should have waited three years." or "we know you want to spend time with your family but we want to see you too" when I made it clear before hand that the two weeks of the year that I spend in MY hometown will be with my family.

Anyway, I'm finished. Done. I have too many things on my plate to make room for people who want to matter more than they ever will.

I like things like this

Last night was my first night back at work after my long nice relaxing weekend.

Since I go back on Monday nights instead of Sundays now, The weekend and the week both feel longer. Needless to say, good for one, not so much for the other.

Anyway, so I was getting on the freeway trying to figure out if it was safe to eat my velveeta sheels and cheese while going 70 miles an hour, when I noticed almost simultaneously that there were an awful lot of semi's on the old road and that the ramp to the freeway was closed.

Great.

And I didn't follow my instincts to get my phone from Shaun, so i couldn't even call to say I was going to be late.

A trip that usually takes 4 minutes (my church is off of the old road) took 25, so I was late and only halfway there.

I did make it to work, with two minutes to spare before the alarm went up.

I have a weird relationship with the manager that was there last night. Usually, I either like someone or I don't, and those feelings are returned the same. Every once in a while, someone comes along that I don't dislike, but I just don't immediately hit it off with, either.

One main reason for this instance is that on nights when he is there, I have to go to toys.

Here is the history of me and toys: I had to go there every night. They have {{imo}} ridiculous expectations of when we are supposed to be finished with that particular area.

We had a supervisor before that would always put me there and when we didn't finish, my name would be written down in this little book and five times was an official write up.

I got to four and never saw the book again, soo...

But the point is that I tried to be moved to another section I was less familiar with but still managed to go faster in because, I guess me and toys just don't mix...

So, when I get sent there, I always get the feeling that I did something wrong. Even if I'm not late, I can usually pinpoint something that happened {{I'm really good at making a fool of myself haha}} or if not I go there grumbling about how i didn't do anything wrong to deserve to have to go to toys.

Anyhow...

So I was sent there almost immediately after I rushed in, threw my stuff on the table, and went to the back of the store before realizing I never clocked in.

All of that, then toys...

I reconciled in my mind that it was just going to be one of "those" nights and it was only 6 hours so I would certainly survive and I was not going to be bogged down or negative all night because of it.

So after doing a few aisles of toys, I was called back into recieving to get more stuff for the floor and my boss was there by the flat I was going to get. I offered to take some other boxes that went to a nearby section and he was like "oh, yeah! Take those, too!" like he was glad I suggested it so that made me feel a little better, then I started to explain to him why i was late and he said someone else called to say the freeway was closed and he understood.

The night really picked up from there. I've been at the same store for two and a half years and we are on a new program that seems to be working so much better.

Before when we had double trucks the floor was covered in boxes and we had a hard time getting finished, now, there is almost nothing because the trucks are a lot smaller and around 6 we are cleaning up the carts and stuff preparing to go home.

Overall, last night was a good night. Tonight, of course, I'm leaving much earlier, just in case, though.

I just get really satisfied when things change for the better. I really was prepared to have a bad night but it was so much better than I expected that I left there feeling really good.

so today I was...

washing the dishes, and as I picked up my husband's coffee mug to put it in the cabinet, I noticed something squirming in the bottom.

My insane fear of bugs was suprisingly logical in that, if I drowned it in one sink, I'd have to stick my hand in there with it to let the water out {{eventually}} heh heh...and if I drowned it on the other side, I would probably come across it again as that sink was filled with soapy dishes.

I managed to keep the cup in my hand long enough to run into my bathroom with the thing squirming around the bottom of the cup and to fill the cup with water about an inch from the top and then watch to make sure it met its demise.

Well, the little buger wouldn't die. I watched it squirming around, the water still rotating from the cup being filled, and I could see its eyes shining in the light. I had this weird morbid emotion come over me like I was really doing something bad by just sitting there letting that nasty thing die.

Well, it didn't. All four of us were crowded into the bathroom waiting to make sure we didn't have to worry about it anymore when my husband grabbed the cup to get a closer look and determined that although it had been stil lfor a while, it was nowhere near dead.

Worse than that, it started to climb up the cup so he dumped the water out into the sink and then let the water run for a few minutes "just to be sure"

I went back regularly to make sure it wasn't anywhere besides deep in the drain, when I heard, "Oh, don't worry, it probably crawled out when you weren't looking." Which was enough to send my psyche into a fit where i saw that thing everytime anything brushed my skin or looked dark in color for the rest of the day.

nice. very nice.

We finally got a decent bed.

When we first got married, I refused to take the furniture from my parents house so we had a mattress on the floor.

That lasted until about 3 years ago when we got a bed from my grandparents which broke a few months ago and led us on a hunt for a free wonderful bed which we now have and its great.

We slept on it for an hour before I went to work last night and it was so comfortable. No more spring in the small of my back, lol.

We went to wal mart today and I bought my daughter a pair of Hannah Montana shoes. She's a huge fan. I laugh at her because we have completely different fashion taste. Her shoes are silver and pink with glitter.

I also bought Juno and it was a really good movie. The hubby is gone for a night so we got pizza and I turned on the kids a movie and had my movie, so in other words I got to spend about 5 minutes without someone asking for food. :o)

This thyroid medicine I'm on is supposed to boost your metabolism (or give you metabolism, maybe, since its been shot?) and I've lost 5 pounds in the three or so weeks I've been on it. Pretty cool, I think. I'm just ready to have to buy new clothes because all of mine will be too big, lol.

the end of vacation

It's finally here. The end of spring break. It went by fast but at the same time it seems like its been ages since we've had school.

We did make it to the beach on Monday. Good times. Other than that, we've been hanging around the house like we always do.

I've been rewatching the first two seasons of lost, and I'm on the last disc of season 2 now. It was hard to do anything this past week because of watching it. I had to do cleaning and everything else in the living room or kitchen so I wouldn't miss it.

Turning it off was out of the question. I kept telling myself that I didn't have to finish it, but to stop in the middle would have driven me crazy.


I've decided to turn over a new leaf...I have many pet peeves, one of which is my annoyance at non communication. I had a minor incident a few weeks ago which made me think I'm a ridiculous perfectionist, then today I had another thing and now I'm really discouraged at my efforts because I am so freaking mad but at the same time, I've decided to just be me, minor annoyances and all.

I just really don't get people. I don't know why they say one thing and then it changes at the last minute, but...there was no change of plans. That, I can deal with. If there is a rule, I want to know the rule right away. I hate to waste my time, especially a whole week of planning something to only have it thrown out the window at the last second, and all because someone didn't tell me something.

Ugh.

Anyway...on a good note...there is a shirt I've seen everywhere and I've been wanting it but not wanting to spend the money and I found one today on sale. I LOVE and cannot resist a sale!

I beat my own record yesterday by doing 15 loads of laundry. My usual number is 12. I think it took me 2 1/2 hours total, which isn't bad for that many loads. I get overwhelmed when I have so much going on at once that it makes me fold faster and by now I think if I ever got into a folding race I'd win first place. :o)

We had a friend over last night and he is really cool. We managed to get the house clean except for vacuuming which I felt bad about but when he came it was really comfortable and I didn't get the feeling he was scrutinizing my house at all. We had fajitas which are a favorite around here and I sat and listened to my hubby and him talk until I was falling asleep on the couch and he was ready to go. I think that was the third time we've had people over since we moved here.

CFA (an official member)

It's happening to me.

All these years I've been suppressing it, keeping it in check in every instance that it might show its ugly head.

I was proud of myself. I thought I was one of the few who would overcome it.

I was wrong.

I'm officially a control freak.

I never paid attention to it growing up. Kids usually just deal with whatever they have, as far as parents go. It wasn't until an outside "parent" of sorts came into the picture that I realized how controlling people can be.

I didn't understand it at all until I had kids, and I think thats when I really felt the onset of having to have things a certain way, of just doing things myself to avoid it being done "wrong".

A few years ago, I noticed what I call "the mom look." Other people who have children have given it to me if I say, for instance, "my kids just stayed in their pajamas all day today!" (which happens to be something we do a lot on weekends around here.) The mom who insists that her children be dressed to laze around the house would look at me with her eyes kind of squinted halfway and...I don't know how to describe it all...its just a look that could only come from a mother. No words are needed to accompany it.

I, myself, give that look, like in a situation where my oldest child would say, "I'm too tired to clean. Can I play outside?" or the middle one after not eating her lunch would say " i know you gave me food, but you didn't give me anything I could eat!"

At one time I reserved that look only for my kids. but now...anything goes.

It really takes a lot to be a control freak. It goes way beyond simple preferences. It is one of the few traits that gets applied to every situation life throws at you.